Halos sabay kayong lumabas ng pinto, pero nauna siya, he held the door and kept it open, hanggang makalabas ka (with that damn charming smile plastered on his face).
Akala mo kayo lang dalawa magkakasabay sa elevator, pero dumagsa ang mga tao at may kanya2 nang kumausap sa inyong dalawa (again you lost the chance to have small talk with him).
Pagpasok sa elevator, naipit kayong dalawa sa sulok, nasa harap mo sya, and it was the closest you got to him since you first met. Your world seemed to slow down, and you want it to stay that way. You want to take a sniff, just to know how sweet he smells. Your heart beats crazily from your chest, kulang nalang kumawala sa sobrang kaba. You did nothing but savor the moment. Holding your breath, you take a picture of his back.
He was wearing a gray shirt, then you realized you’re wearing the same color, you manage a smile (ngumiti ka nalang kahit parang gusto mong magtatalon sa sobrang saya).
You mumbled something, just to break the silence, but you were referring to everyone inside the lift. He turned around and smiled at your words. You smile back. That was your first exchange of smiles.
Sparks were flying. Birds were singing. You think you’re about to go insane. Then the elevator door opens.
Pagdating sa escalator, magkatabi kayo sa isang baitang. Pakiramdam mo nasa isle ka na ng altar at may naghihintay na pari sa harap.
Hanggang sa pagtawid sa pedestrian, kayong dalawa pa rin ang magkasabay. Habang ang sarap ng kwentuhan ng dalawa niyong kasama, awkward silence lang ang ninanamnam ninyo. Pero gayunpaman, ikaw na yata ang pinakamaligayang nilalang ng mga oras na yon.
Malapit ka na sa pupuntahan mo, without knowing what to do, you just walked briskly and left him without saying anything, hindi mo na tuloy nasilayan ulit ang matamis nyang ngiti.
Malungkot na paghihiwalay. Sana man lang nagsabi ako ng “Dito na ako, sir.”
Ayaw mo. Gusto ko. Ano pang magagawa ko? Hindi ko na kaya. Iba na ‘to. Mahirap. Komplikado. Walang kasiguraduhan. Saan patungo? Ewan.
Bakit paulit-ulit kelangan masaktan? Hanggang kelan aasa? Hanggang kelan ang pagdurusa. Nakakapagod maramdaman ang sakit. Masaya ng panandalian, pero pagkatapos mapapaisip. Kung saan nga ba patungo, o kung may patutunguhan nga ba.
Why does love have to be so complicated? Why do you have to get hurt just to be happy? All the tears, the broken heart, the sadness - are they really worth it?
Bakit kelangang magkakilala, magkasama at maging masaya sa piling ng isa’t isa, kung hindi din naman magtatagal, kung hindi din naman panghabangbuhay. Anong saysay?
Kahit anong pilit makalimot, maghanap ng iba. Akala mo nakalimutan mo na, pero sa tuwing makikita siya, lalo na sa piling ng iba, muli ka paring masasaktan.
You thought you’ve moved on and is whole again, but then you see him and you break into pieces all over again. Cliche. Pero yun ang totoong nangyayari. Magpapanggap na okay ka, pero sa loob mo para kang dinudurog at winasak ng paulit-ulit.
Kailangan nang itigil, dahil lalo lang magiging mapait, masakit. Ito na ang huli. Sana kayanin. Sana.
Painting for peace. :)
They will never understand what we have, what’s going on with our relationship. Only us can solve every problem that would arise. And it is for us to decide to stay together.
We’ve been better. This line never left my mind after watching the thriller film ‘Messengers 2’. It was what the husband told his wife after going through times in their relationship.
Now, I also wanna say it, “We’ve been better.”
It has been 10 months since we both decided to commit ourselves to each other.
The first few weeks have been mushy and cheesy, but most of all, full of intrigues. But we made it through. And now that I think about those times, I can’t help but smile. ♥
Trials arose a few months later, difficult ones. We even arrived to the verge of almost breaking up. I just can’t bear the thought of losing you.
We said hurtful thins to each other, cried and broke each other’s heart. But at the end of the day, all those have been forgotten, we forgave each other,and reconciled; LOVE PREVAILED. ♥
We promised to make things work. We promised to always be there for each other. These promises are what I’ve been holding on to until now.
Now we are on our way to our 11th month, and I can’t believe we’ve gotten this far. I’m just so proud of us babe. :”)
You might wonder why I said we’ve been better. It’s because of the little improvements that we’ve developed within ourselves just to make this relationship work.
You are less hot tempered. I am more patient. You’ve learned how to say ‘sorry.’ I’m slowly learning how to keep calm whenever you’re mad.
I can proudly say, these changes that we’ve had, and hopefully more improvements would come, are the keys for us to stay together..
I want to thank you babe, for exerting effort in being more patient with me, for being better for us.
Our relationship may not be perfect. We fight, we shout at each other, we kiss and make up. If ever I was given the chance to choose who I’d want to be with, and how our relationship would go, I would still want to be with you. I would still want the ups and downs that we’ve been through and will be going through moving forward.
Paborito ko na yung Lego House, kasi parang tayo yun. It’s like our relationship, we may break down and fall apart many times, but as long as we hold on to each other, we can always build up and start all over again. Sabi ko nga sayo dati, “I would do it all over again, as long as it’s with you.” ♥
Sabi nga sa kanta, “If you’re broken I will mend you, gonna keep you sheltered from the storm.”
I will always be here to pick you up when you’re feeling down, and I know na ganun ka rin sakin.
We can’t let life’s trials defeat us, as long as I’ve got you, and you’ve got me, we’re as strong as a fortress. ♥
I’m not that much of a devout Christian, but my parents raised me to be a God-fearing individual. So I guess that grants me enough right to compose this post.
I am writing this blog entry not because I’ve become some self-proclaimed religious preacher whatsoever. I am just putting into words the things that I have been experiencing lately.
These past few months have been and exhausting and stressful for me; problems kept on arising. There even came a time when I thought of giving up. So I pray, and realized that one thing is all I needed to keep my hopes up alive, FAITH.
I talk to the Lord and say sorry for being the sinful human being that I am, then I tell Him my problems, which I know He is already aware of.
After having been able to talk to Him, I feel a lot better, as always.
PRAYERS NEVER FAIL. I find comfort in it. It is my sanctuary.
After talking to God, I calm down, and just trust Him about all my worries —that His Will will always be for my good.
In fact, my favorite bible verse is Mark 11:24. “Therefore I say to you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”
This is what I’ve been holding on to, and my faith just keeps getting stronger, because as I travel the journeys of my everyday life, I overcome the obstacles that tend to hinder me from reaching my goals. God continues to show me that it works, all we need to do is believe.
It’s those times when you need a certain formula, but you can’t remember it, you ask God for help. And the moment you open your reference book, it’s there.
It’s those moments when you were about to cross the street but a voice inside your head made you step or look back, then a fast moving car passes in front of you. You could’ve been hurt if not because of that ‘voice’.
It’s those times when you are really sick, then you pray for wellness, next thing you know, you’re up and running.
It’s those times when you feel like you have to give something up because things won’t work if you don’t, then an answer immediately comes up out of nowhere.
I call these moments, little miracles.
I experience those a lot everyday, plenty of times everyday actually.
Maybe for some people, those ‘moments’ are just normal coincidences. But for me, they are God’s ways of answering our prayers.
Maybe He needs us to open our eyes not only to those big things that we prayed for, but also to the little occurrences which we thought are senseless or purposeless to our goals.
He wants us to appreciate the little miracles of daily life, until then we could see that it leads to the big things that we are praying for.
I remember the time when a friend asked me if I believe in miracles. She was dazed when I said yes. Maybe her definition of ‘miracles’ just differs from mine.
Miracles don’t need to be that ‘blind-man-can-now-see’ kind of stuff. Or like the kinds that happened during Jesus’ times. Miracles need not be grand, or outrageous, or controversial.
They happen everywhere, everyday. Even our simple waking up in the morning is a miracle. We should be thankful that we were given another day to live.
Never lose heart if you think the big miracle you’ve asked for didn’t happen. Open you heart. You’ll realize that God is already working on it, little by little, one step at a time. :)